I Became An Immortal On Mortal Realm Wiki
Okay, so you know how sometimes you fall down a rabbit hole on the internet? Like, one minute you're looking up the best way to clean a cast iron skillet (it's salt, by the way!), and the next you're reading about the mating rituals of deep-sea anglerfish? Yeah, that was me, but with a *slightly* more fantastical twist.
It all started innocently enough. I was researching this obscure fantasy novel – you know, the kind with elves and dragons and prophecies? – and stumbled onto a Mortal Realm Wiki page. These wikis, am I right? Total time sucks! But also, incredibly useful when you need to know, like, the proper way to address a goblin king. Critical knowledge.
So there I am, browsing the "Major Characters" section, when I notice a little blurb about someone called "Elowen the Everlasting." Hmmm, sounds interesting! Clickity-click, and BAM! I'm suddenly staring at a detailed profile. Age: Unknown. Powers: Immortality, shapeshifting, control over flora. Weaknesses: Iron, emotional attachments. You know, the usual immortal stuff.
And that's when the crazy idea hit me. Why not... edit the page? I mean, anyone can edit a wiki, right? What could possibly go wrong? (Famous last words, I know.)
First, I added a few minor details. Elowen now had a favorite flower (bluebells, obviously) and a slightly embarrassing fear of spiders. Harmless, right? Just adding a little depth to the character. But then... then I started thinking bigger. What if Elowen wasn't just *any* immortal? What if she was... well, me?
Okay, okay, hear me out! It's not like I went totally off the rails. I didn't give her my social security number or anything. But I *did* start subtly incorporating aspects of my own personality into her profile. My love for cheesy 80s music? Check. My uncanny ability to find lost keys? Double-check. My slightly unhealthy obsession with Nutella? You betcha.
Slowly but surely, Elowen the Everlasting began to evolve into a slightly more fantastical version of... well, me. I added details about her past (she was a surprisingly terrible dancer), her quirks (she collects vintage teacups), and even her hidden ambitions (to open a cat cafe in the enchanted forest). It was glorious!
I spent hours crafting her backstory, tweaking her powers, and even writing little snippets of dialogue. It was like writing fan fiction, but about myself! Talk about ego-boosting! And the best part? Nobody seemed to notice. Or maybe they just didn't care. Either way, I was free to become the immortal I always knew I was deep down inside.
Of course, the whole thing was incredibly silly. I mean, come on, I'm not *actually* immortal (as far as I know!). But it was a fun little experiment in online identity and self-expression. And hey, who knows? Maybe somewhere out there, someone will read Elowen's profile and think, "Wow, she sounds amazing!" And then, just maybe, a little bit of me will live on forever in the annals of Mortal Realm Wiki.
Is that narcissistic? Probably. Do I regret it? Not one bit! Besides, who's to say I'm *not* secretly immortal? I haven't aged noticeably in, like, five years. Coincidence? I think not!
So, the next time you're browsing a wiki, take a closer look at the characters. You never know, you might just be reading about someone who's a little more... real than you think. Or, you know, just some random person who got bored and decided to write themselves into immortality. Either way, happy reading!
And if you happen to stumble upon Elowen the Everlasting, be sure to tell her I said hi. And maybe bring her a jar of Nutella. You know, just in case.
The Aftermath
Okay, so I did get a *few* comments. Mostly along the lines of, "Who keeps adding Nutella references?" and "Is Elowen suddenly obsessed with 80s music?". But nothing too serious. And honestly, I think it made the page more interesting! Don't you think?
Plus, it gave me a great story to tell at parties. "Oh, you're a software engineer? That's cool. I'm an immortal on Mortal Realm Wiki. No big deal." Drops mic. Walks away.
