My Biased Get On The Last Train

Okay, so picture this: it’s late. Really late. Like, "questioning all your life choices that led you to this point" late. You're at a concert, having the time of your life, screaming your lungs out for your favorite artist (we'll call them "The Luminescent Llamas" for dramatic effect, because, why not?). The last train is about to leave. Panic? You betcha!

But here’s the twist, the plot thickening, the dramatic irony of the situation: My bias, the ultimate, the irreplaceable, the one and only...is on that train.

The Setup: A Night of Llamas and Looming Deadlines

Let's rewind a bit. The Luminescent Llamas, a band I’ve worshipped since I was, like, twelve and had questionable hair choices, were finally playing in town. Obviously, I had to be there. Front row, center stage, screaming so loud I probably permanently damaged my eardrums. Worth it. Absolutely worth it. But here’s the kicker: the venue was miles away from my place, and public transport in this city shuts down earlier than I do on a Sunday morning. Oops.

I knew about the last train. I knew it! I even set, like, three alarms. But did I heed them? Did I, heck! I was too busy belting out the lyrics to “Llama Love Song” (don't judge, it’s a masterpiece!) to pay attention to the passage of time. Consequently, all the bus routes had shut down for the night.

The Moment of Truth: The Last Train to Oblivion (or My Apartment)

Then, the final encore ended. The lights came up. The crowd began to disperse. And a horrifying realization washed over me: I was stranded. Suddenly I was struck with one of those moments of dread when the music stops, everyone is leaving, and you are stood staring like an idiot.

I glanced at my phone. The last train was leaving in, like, five minutes. Five minutes to navigate a sea of sweaty concertgoers, sprint through the station, and somehow not trip and fall flat on my face. Possible? Maybe. Probable? Definitely not.

That's when I saw him. My bias. Casually strolling towards the train platform with his entourage. Looking impossibly cool and collected, like he hadn’t just spent the last two hours rocking out with thousands of screaming fans. Seriously?! Couldn't he have chosen to go to dinner instead?!

The Internal Struggle: To Stalk, or Not to Stalk?

Okay, let’s be real. My brain went into overdrive. Should I… should I try to talk to him? Risk looking like a complete lunatic, a desperate fan clinging to the hope of a selfie and a mumbled “hello”? Or should I just… watch him board the train, resigned to my fate of sleeping on a park bench (romantic, in a tragic sort of way)?

My inner monologue was having a full-blown argument. "Do it! This is your chance!" shouted one side. "Don't be ridiculous, you'll embarrass yourself!" countered the other. And then, a brilliant idea struck me. I could subtly (or not so subtly) follow him onto the train, hoping for a chance encounter. After all, we were both headed in the same direction, right? Right? This was not stalking I told myself - just coincidence!

So, I did it. I channeled my inner ninja, discreetly weaving through the crowd, keeping him in my line of sight. It was like a scene from a spy movie, only way less glamorous and way more awkward. I was sure I could pass myself off as not being a crazed fan - right?

The Resolution: Stranded, But With a Story

Spoiler alert: I chickened out. Big time. I ended up watching him board the train from a safe distance, clutching my Llamas-themed tote bag and muttering to myself about missed opportunities. But hey, at least I can say I was on the same train platform as him. That's something, right?

And you know what? It was also the push I needed to get my act together. I frantically searched for alternative transportation, eventually finding a ridiculously overpriced taxi that smelled vaguely of old pizza. But hey, I made it home safe and sound (and slightly poorer), with a story to tell and a newfound appreciation for the importance of setting alarms that I actually listen to.

The Takeaway: Embrace the Chaos (and Maybe Set More Alarms)

So, what's the moral of the story? Sometimes, life throws you curveballs. Sometimes, you miss the last train. And sometimes, your bias ends up on that very same train, leaving you with a whirlwind of emotions and a slightly dented sense of dignity. But that's okay! Embrace the chaos, laugh at yourself, and remember that even the most disastrous situations can lead to hilarious anecdotes.

And who knows? Maybe next time, I'll actually work up the courage to say "hi." Or maybe I'll just continue to admire him from afar. Either way, I'll always have the memory of that fateful night, when I almost, almost, ended up on the last train with The Luminescent Llamas' lead singer. A memory I will laugh about for years to come - or at least until I see them again.