My S-rank Party Fired Me For Being A Cursificer

Okay, so, you are *not* going to believe what happened to me. Seriously. Grab another coffee; this is a long one.

Remember how I was part of the legendary "Starlight Brigade"? Yeah, the S-rank party that slayed the Elder Dragon Gorgoth? Well, guess what? They fired me. *Fired* me!

I know, right? You're thinking, "But you were practically the backbone of the team!" And you'd be, like, totally correct. I mean, who else was going to keep them from accidentally setting themselves on fire every single dungeon crawl?

My Unforgivable Sin: Being a Cursificer

So, here's the deal. I'm a Cursificer. Big whoop, right? Okay, maybe it sounds a little scary. We basically manipulate curses. We can deflect them, weaken them, even turn them back on the sender. Pretty useful, especially when you're raiding ancient tombs filled with, you know, curses.

But apparently, according to the oh-so-noble Starlight Brigade, being a Cursificer is "too dark" and "taints their heroic image." Seriously? Taints? Like, I'm suddenly going to corrupt their shiny armor with my… curse knowledge? Give me a break!

Did they forget who disarmed the "Curse of Eternal Itching" from their leader, the Glorious Gareth, last week? Remember that? He was scratching so hard, he was about to draw blood! And *I'm* the problem?

They claimed my powers were "unsettling" and made them "uneasy." Oh, poor babies! Were my swirling, shadowy glyphs too much for your delicate sensibilities? Maybe you should stick to fighting slimes in a meadow then, huh?

The "Intervention"

The actual firing was… well, it was a whole *thing*. They staged an "intervention." Can you believe it? Like I was some sort of curse-addicted fiend who needed to be rehabilitated. They even had pamphlets titled "Living with a Cursificer: A Support Guide." I swear, I'm not making this up!

The Glorious Gareth started with a tearful speech about how much they valued me as a "person," but how they couldn't, in good conscience, continue to associate with someone who dabbled in "such dark arts." Blah, blah, blah. Heroic platitudes, dramatic pauses, the whole shebang.

Then, the Radiant Rosaline chimed in about how my powers were "incompatible" with their "brand." Their *brand*! We're saving the world, not selling sparkly unicorn stickers! Is nothing sacred anymore?

Even Brock the Barbarian, bless his heart, tried to offer some "constructive criticism." He said my curses made him "feel funny." I think that was the most coherent thing he's ever said to me.

So, What Now?

So, yeah, I'm unemployed. Kicked to the curb. Deemed too spooky for the cool kids' club. What am I going to do now? Well, I've got a few ideas. Maybe I'll start my own adventuring party. One filled with other "tainted" heroes. We could call ourselves "The Misfit Marauders" or "The Shadow Syndicate." What do you think?

Or maybe I'll just embrace the dark side and become a supervillain. I mean, they basically gave me the origin story, right? Someone needs to show those self-righteous heroes what a *real* curse can do. Just kidding! …Mostly.

Honestly, though, I'm a little hurt. We were a team! We were family! But, whatever. Their loss. I'm sure they'll come crawling back when they accidentally summon a demon or something. And when they do? Let’s just say I’m charging double. Plus hazard pay. And a complimentary curse… for old time's sake.

So, that's my story. What do you think? Am I overreacting? Should I have tried harder to "fit in?" Or are they just a bunch of judgmental jerks who don't appreciate my unique talents? Let me know! And maybe pass the sugar, I need it after all this drama!