My Second Senior Brother Is A Mortal But Strong
Okay, okay, gather 'round, let me tell you about my Second Senior Brother. Now, in our cultivation sect, that title usually means someone's practically breathing lightning bolts and casually shattering mountains for fun. Not *this* guy. My Second Senior Brother, bless his cotton socks, is… well, he's mortal. Like, could stub his toe and need a Healing Pill mortal. You know, the kind even I can concoct with my, shall we say, *developing* alchemic skills.
But here's the kicker, the twist in the xianxia tale, the reason why everyone in the sect secretly (or not-so-secretly) fears him: he’s strong. Like, ridiculously, cartoonishly strong. Think Popeye after a spinach binge, but instead of spinach, it’s just… breakfast. We're talking "once accidentally dented a dragon's scale with a friendly pat" strong. Seriously, the dragon had to go get acupuncture for a week.
It’s a paradox wrapped in a riddle smothered in a particularly tough dumpling. He can’t fly on a sword, he doesn’t have an Inner Core, and his Qi is basically non-existent. He meditates, and all he gets is…well rested. Meanwhile, I’m over here trying to break through to the next realm, and he’s lifting boulders like they're fluffy kittens.
How is this possible? Good question! The sect elders have been scratching their beards over this for decades. Theories range from “ancient artifact lodged in his spleen” to “blessed by a forgotten god of…laundry”. The leading theory, though, is just plain old, unadulterated stubbornness. He just decided to be strong, and the universe apparently shrugged and said, "Fine, whatever."
His Training Regimen is… Unique
Forget channeling Qi, forget breathing techniques, forget complex formations. My Second Senior Brother’s training involves chores. Yep, you heard me. Chores. He chops wood like a lumberjack on Red Bull, he carries water buckets so full they look like they're about to explode, and he washes clothes with a force that could scour the scales off a carp. Apparently, disciplined manual labor builds ridiculous strength. Who knew?
One time, he accidentally snapped the Sect Leader's favorite bamboo fishing rod. I thought he was a goner. But instead of getting punished, he was tasked with building a new one. He built it so strong you could probably use it to hoist a small mountain. The Sect Leader, visibly torn between being angry and impressed, just sighed and went fishing.
And don’t even get me started on the cooking. He’s our head chef, and the food is… potent. He apparently puts "a little extra muscle" into his stews. Eating his dumplings is like getting a miniature workout. You feel strangely invigorated after every meal. And occasionally, you find a small dent in your bowl.
He's Surprisingly Observant
Despite his lack of supernatural abilities, he's got an uncanny ability to see through deception. Remember that time a rogue cultivator tried to scam the sect with fake spirit stones? My Second Senior Brother just stared at him for five seconds, and the guy confessed everything, including his deep-seated fear of squirrels. I swear, he just knew.
He's also got a knack for solving problems. Not with fancy spells or intricate calculations, but with good old-fashioned common sense. We had this ancient sealing formation that was malfunctioning, keeping the prize winning gourds from growing to their proper size. The Sect Elders were stumped. Second Senior Brother took one look, noticed a displaced rock, and boom! Perfect, enormous gourds. He said, "Sometimes, the answer's just staring you in the face." I almost choked on my tea.
He’s a walking, talking, dumpling-making enigma. He’s proof that strength doesn’t always come from cultivation, and that sometimes, the most ordinary person can be the most extraordinary. And, let’s be honest, it’s endlessly entertaining to watch him try to explain to visiting dignitaries that, no, he doesn’t have a hidden realm, he just really likes lifting things.
A True Inspiration (Kind Of)
So, what’s the moral of the story? Maybe it’s that hard work pays off, even if you're not destined to be a world-shattering cultivator. Maybe it’s that true strength comes in many forms. Or maybe it’s just that my Second Senior Brother is a glorious, hilarious anomaly who makes sect life infinitely more interesting. I suspect it’s all of the above.
Just don't challenge him to arm wrestle. Trust me on this one.
