My Three Thousand Years To The Sky Ch 1

Okay, so imagine this: you're chilling, probably scrolling through cat videos (because let's be honest, who isn't?), and suddenly you realize you're 3,000 years old. Yeah, that's the vibe I got reading the first chapter of My Three Thousand Years To The Sky. Except, instead of cat videos, our protagonist, Bai Qiuran, is contemplating the meaning of, well, everything, after three millennia of immortal existence. And let me tell you, it's a hilarious, sometimes frustrating, and often utterly baffling journey.

The Loneliest Birthday Party Ever

Chapter 1 kicks off with what I like to call Bai Qiuran's "3,000th Birthday Party For One." Picture this: a lone immortal, probably with more wrinkles than a Shar-Pei puppy, sitting on top of a mountain. He's got a sword (naturally), a wistful expression, and probably a deep, existential dread about what to have for dinner. Seriously, after 3,000 years, even takeout gets old. He doesn't even have streaming services to binge-watch! Talk about a rough birthday.

The dude is basically immortal. Like, really immortal. Think Highlander, but with better hair (at least, I imagine he has good hair. It’s important for a protagonist). He's been around since, get this, the very, very beginning of the Nine Provinces (basically ancient China, but cooler). We're talking pre-history levels of ancient. The dinosaurs probably knew him. Okay, maybe not the dinosaurs, but you get the idea. The guy's old. So old, he’s practically antique furniture.

Why So Lonely? Blame the Qi Depletion

So why is Mr. Immortal-Hottie-With-A-Sword all by his lonesome? Well, that's where the Qi Depletion comes in. Qi, for those of you who haven't dabbled in the mystical arts (or watched too much anime), is basically the life force that fuels everything in this world. It's the magical juice that lets you fly, shoot fireballs, and, you know, not die. And it's been steadily disappearing.

Bai Qiuran explains that, back in the day, Qi was as plentiful as memes on the internet. Everyone was cultivating, everyone was strong, and everyone was probably arguing about who could shoot the biggest fireball. But now? Now, Qi is scarcer than a polite comment section on YouTube. Most people can't even cultivate anymore. Which means Bai Qiuran, with his massive reserves of Qi, is pretty much the last of a dying breed. Think of him as the immortal dodo bird, but with better combat skills.

Cultivation Woes: From Fireballs to Fizzles

The chapter goes into a bit about the different stages of cultivation. Now, I won't bore you with all the details (unless you really want to know, in which case, send me a raven. Just kidding! Don't send me a raven), but basically, it's a ladder. You start at the bottom, probably struggling to even light a candle with your Qi, and work your way up until you can, I don't know, blow up planets with a sneeze. Bai Qiuran, naturally, is at the very top of the ladder. He's so high up, he's practically in orbit. He's probably mastered sneezing planet-busting Qi-blasts by now, the show hasn't clarified.

Here's a quick and dirty guide to the cultivation stages (according to my interpretation of Chapter 1, anyway):

• Qi Refining: You're basically a Qi newbie. You can probably make a small spark. Maybe.
• Foundation Establishment: You've got a bit of Qi under your belt. You can probably levitate a teacup. Congratulations!
• Golden Core: You're a serious cultivator now. You can probably fly. Watch out for birds!
• Nascent Soul: You're getting close to the top. You can probably summon a miniature version of yourself. Good for annoying your enemies.
• And... beyond! This is where things get hazy. Bai Qiuran's at the top of this hazy bit. He’s so powerful it's scary, or maybe just kinda depressing.

The problem is, with the Qi depletion, it's getting harder and harder to even get to the Qi Refining stage. Which is why everyone thinks Bai Qiuran is a weirdo. They're all like, "Hey, why are you carrying a sword? What's all this 'cultivation' talk? Are you wearing a costume?" And he's all like, "I've been doing this for 3,000 years! It's your perception of reality that is wrong!"

A Mission (Maybe): Finding the Lost Cultivation Arts

But fear not! Our lonely immortal isn't just going to sit on his mountain and mope (although, let's be honest, I'd probably do that if I were him). He decides to go on a mission! A mission to find the lost cultivation arts and maybe, just maybe, help humanity rediscover its Qi-fueled potential. Essentially, he’s embarking on a quest to bring back the good ol' days. Think of him as a grumpy, sword-wielding librarian, trying to find the ancient instruction manual for making humanity not suck.

He knows what to do now: he's going to start a school. What could go wrong?

This is where the chapter ends, leaving us with a tantalizing cliffhanger. Will Bai Qiuran succeed? Will he find the lost cultivation arts? Will he finally find someone to share his birthday cake with? Only time (and the next chapter) will tell! One thing is certain though, it will definitely be a wild ride!

Bai Qiuran leaves his solitary mountaintop, ready to train the young and find out who or what is draining the world of its natural energy. This might be the most interesting turn of events in millenia. But he may also be the only one who notices.

The most interesting detail in Chapter 1 of My Three Thousand Years To The Sky is that Bai Qiuran does not truly know what happened. He's aware that there was once Qi in the world, and now there isn't. But he has no clue as to why. The reader doesn't know why. That's the fun of this story: the mystery! Bai Qiuran is going to have to figure it out, and it will certainly be an adventure, so stick around for the next chapter!