The Wicked Princess Plans For Her Life Spoiler

Okay, okay, lean in close, because I'm about to spill the tea on Princess Gwendolyn, the baddest royal to ever wield a scepter. You know, the one everyone whispered about? The one who preferred dragons to debutantes and whose idea of a ball was a carefully planned catapult launch? Yeah, *that* princess. Well, buckle up, buttercups, because she's got plans, and they're delightfully devious.

So, we all thought Gwen was destined to marry Prince Bartholomew the Bland (seriously, his hobbies included stamp collecting and competitive napping). But surprise! Gwen isn't about that life. Turns out, she's been secretly reading Machiavelli, Sun Tzu, and, get this, a bunch of self-help books on "Unleashing Your Inner Power." (Even evil princesses need a little motivation, right?).

Her first goal? To completely revamp the royal wardrobe. Forget frilly frocks and suffocating corsets. Gwen's vision involves practical leather armor, boots suitable for scaling castle walls, and maybe a cape with a built-in grappling hook. Sources say she's already commissioned a prototype from the royal armorer, who, bless his heart, keeps muttering about "tradition" and "royal etiquette." But Gwen? She just raises an eyebrow and casually mentions the dragon she keeps as a pet. Problem solved.

Next Up: Royal Reforms!

Now, here's where things get interesting. Gwen's not just about looking the part of a rebel; she actually wants to, you know, make the kingdom better. Shocking, I know. But her methods are... unconventional.

First on the chopping block: the ridiculously complicated tax system. Apparently, figuring out your taxes in her kingdom required a PhD in accounting and a blood sacrifice to the bureaucratic gods. Gwen's solution? A flat tax of 5% and a national "Guess the Amount" lottery. Simpler, more fun, and probably just as effective. Plus, imagine the memes!

Then there's the royal court. Filled with stuffy old nobles who haven't had an original thought since the invention of the wheel. Gwen's plan? Replace them with a council of wise squirrels, a sassy parrot named Kevin, and the kingdom's top ten TikTok influencers. Okay, I might be exaggerating about the squirrels (slightly). But she is serious about bringing in fresh perspectives and, crucially, people who aren't afraid to tell her when she's being a tad… extra.

She is also advocating for a national holiday dedicated to "National Napping Day," in which everyone in the Kingdom is required to nap for a solid two hours. She hopes to prove that more sleep helps solve more of societies problems.

The Prince Problem

Of course, there's still the Prince Bartholomew issue. Gwen can't exactly ditch him without causing a diplomatic incident. So, she's decided to… reform him. Her strategy involves a rigorous program of dragon riding lessons, sword fighting practice, and mandatory viewings of action movies. Sources say Bartholomew is now proficient in using a trebuchet and can identify at least three different types of dragons. Small victories, people, small victories.

And, get this, Gwen is also secretly teaching Bartholomew coding. Apparently, she believes that even a bland prince can be useful if he knows how to build a decent website or, at the very least, debug the royal toaster. Plus, she enjoys watching him squirm when she explains binary code. It's the little things, you know?

Rumor has it that she is also introducing the Prince to his first DnD campaign. He is playing a bard.

The Future is Wicked (and Probably Chaotic)

So, what does the future hold for Princess Gwendolyn? Well, if I had to guess, I'd say a lot of chaos. But also, a lot of good. She's not your typical fairy tale princess, but she's determined to make her kingdom a better place, even if it means breaking a few rules (and maybe a few noses) along the way.

She's still planning to get the castle moat installed with sharks, but her advisors have talked her down to piranhas. For now.

And as for her happily ever after? Well, that's still being written. But one thing's for sure: it's going to be one heck of a story.

Oh, and one last thing? I heard she's planning a surprise birthday party for the dragon. Apparently, dragons love cake. Who knew?