Okay, hear me out. You're standing there, staring at that vending machine. You need a snack. You deserve a snack. But something's missing, isn't it?
It's called joy! It's called unbridled, slightly awkward, vending machine-adjacent joy. And the answer? Dance.
Step 1: Embrace the Soundtrack
Every vending machine has a soundtrack, whether you realize it or not. It's the hum of the motor, the clunk of the cans, the frustrated sigh of the person who just realized they only have a five for a four-dollar item.
Feel that music. Let it move you. Maybe add your own internal pop song for extra flavour.
Step 2: The Toe Tap of Anticipation
This is your warm-up. A gentle, almost imperceptible toe tap. It's a silent promise to the vending machine gods that you come in peace, bearing rhythmic intentions.
Don't be shy! A little heel raise? A subtle ankle rotation? The possibilities are endless!
Step 3: The Button Boogie
Now, for the main event. The Button Boogie. As you punch in your snack selection (mine is always the mysteriously neon-colored gummy worms), add a little something extra. A shoulder shimmy, a hip sway, maybe a dramatic finger point.
Think of it as giving the vending machine a little encouragement. It's working hard for you, after all. A little dance appreciation goes a long way!
Step 4: The Retrieval Rhapsody
The snack is falling. This is a moment of truth. The Retrieval Rhapsody is all about capturing that feeling of victory with movement. It doesn't have to be fancy.
A simple little clap? A knee bend as you peer into the vending machine abyss? A celebratory fist pump? All are acceptable. All are glorious.
Advanced Moves (For the Daring)
Feeling bold? Ready to take your vending machine dance to the next level? I salute you!
The Dramatic Dip
As your snack emerges, execute a slow, dramatic dip. Imagine you're in a movie, and your gummy worms are the only thing that matters. Because, let's be honest, they kind of are.
The Snack Spin
Grab your snack, and give it a little spin! A gentle twirl, a playful flourish. It shows your snack you appreciate its service.
The Air Guitar Solo (feat. Vending Machine Noises)
This one requires dedication. As the vending machine dispenses your treat, mime an air guitar solo, incorporating the whirs and clunks into your performance.
Bonus points if you can convincingly imitate the sound of a falling bag of chips.
Important Considerations
Safety First! Don't get so caught up in your dance that you trip and faceplant into the vending machine. No one wants that. Except maybe the vending machine, which will probably consider it a bonus snack.
Be aware of your surroundings. Not everyone appreciates a spontaneous dance performance. Especially if they're desperately trying to get their caffeine fix before a big meeting. Maybe give them a little curtsey as an apology?
Embrace the awkward! Let's be honest, dancing at a vending machine is a little weird. But that's what makes it fun! It's about breaking free from the mundane and injecting a little silliness into your day.
And finally, remember to actually eat your snack. You've earned it. You've danced for it. You've bonded with a vending machine over it. Enjoy every delicious, slightly processed bite. And think to yourself, that was fun.
Now go forth and dance for that vending machine snack! And if anyone asks, just tell them Lana sent you.
