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I Can Buy And Sell You Old Man

By Emma Burns • In Show
I Can Buy And Sell You Old Man

Okay, hear me out. I know this sounds crazy. But sometimes, I feel like I could buy and sell, like, an old man.

Not literally, of course! I'm not planning any kidnappings. And definitely no shady auctions.

I'm just talking about that feeling you get sometimes. That "I've got this" feeling. You know?

The Wisdom Imbalance

It hits me especially hard when I'm helping my grandpa with his phone. He struggles to send a text. I explain it for the tenth time.

Suddenly, I'm a tech genius. Suddenly, I'm Bill Gates! Or at least, someone who isn't baffled by emojis.

And in that moment? Yeah, I could totally buy and sell him. At least when it comes to smartphone savvy.

Not Just Tech, Though...

It's not just about technology. It happens with other things too. Like setting up the DVD player. Or troubleshooting the Wi-Fi.

Sometimes, it's even simpler. Like understanding a meme. Or knowing the lyrics to the latest pop song.

He just looks at me with that "kids these days" look. And I feel a surge of…superiority? (Okay, maybe just mild amusement.)

Experience vs. Current Knowledge

Now, I'm not saying I'm smarter than any old man. They've got life experience. They've seen things. They've probably got some killer stories.

My grandpa tells amazing tales about his time in the war. Those are priceless. Can't buy or sell that kind of stuff.

But when it comes to certain practical skills? Let's just say I might have the upper hand. Just a little.

A Generational Thing

I think it’s a generational thing. Things change so fast. What was common knowledge yesterday is ancient history today.

My grandma still prints out emails. That's adorable. But also? I could definitely negotiate a good deal on that printer right now.

Again, not literally! I’d never take advantage of my family. But the *feeling* is there.

A Respectful Transaction (In My Mind)

So, when I say "I can buy and sell you," I don't mean it in a mean way. It's more like a playful observation.

It's acknowledging the gap in our knowledge. And secretly enjoying my (temporary) advantage.

Plus, it’s kind of a compliment, right? It means I’m keeping up with the times. Staying sharp. Remaining relevant.

The Circle of Life (and Knowledge)

I know, someday, the tables will turn. Some whippersnapper will be explaining the metaverse to me. I'll be the clueless old man.

And they'll be thinking, "I could so buy and sell you right now." And you know what? They'll probably be right.

But until then? I'm going to revel in my moment of tech supremacy. Sorry, Grandpa!

Just kidding (mostly). Love you!

P.S. If anyone *is* looking to sell a slightly used old man (metaphorically speaking, of course), hit me up. I might be interested.

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