I Want To Become A Super Saiyan God

My Totally Serious Quest for Godhood (Saiyan Style)

Okay, let's be honest. We've all thought about it, right? Super Saiyan God. It's not just a hairstyle, it's a lifestyle.

I know, I know. It sounds ridiculous. But hear me out!

Step 1: Finding Five Pure-Hearted Saiyans

This is where things get tricky. Five pure-hearted Saiyans willing to lend me their energy? Easier said than done.

My neighbor keeps yelling at squirrels. Not exactly pure. My cousin watches reality TV. Hard pass.

Maybe I'll try a Saiyan dating app. "Seeking five pure-hearted individuals. Must like yelling and spiky hair." Sounds promising, right?

Step 2: Achieving a Zen-Like State of Mind (or At Least Trying)

Goku makes it look so easy. Just meditate and bam! God status.

I tried meditating. My brain immediately started listing grocery items. Milk, bread, immortality...

I might need a meditation coach. Preferably one who can handle a constant stream of random thoughts about pizza.

Step 3: The Energy Transfer (and Hopefully No Explosions)

This part seems the most dramatic. Five glowing Saiyans holding hands. Light shooting everywhere.

I'm slightly concerned about accidental explosions. I'll buy extra insurance, just in case.

Maybe we should practice the hand-holding formation first. For safety, obviously.

Step 4: Rocking the Red Hair and God Ki

Red hair? Yes, please! I’ve always wanted to try a bold new look.

And God Ki? Sounds amazing! I’m hoping it comes with unlimited snacks and a personal hype man.

Imagine the possibilities! Doing the dishes with Godly speed. Never being late again. The ultimate level of Netflix binging.

Unpopular Opinion: Super Saiyan God is the Ultimate Life Hack

Let's be real. Being a Super Saiyan God would solve so many problems.

Traffic? Fly over it. Bills? Erase them with God Ki. Annoying relatives? A polite but firm energy blast.

Okay, maybe not the energy blast. But you get the idea.

The Real Motivation: Pure, Unadulterated Awesomeness

Ultimately, it’s about the sheer coolness factor. Flying around with red hair and glowing. Who wouldn't want that?

I'm picturing myself saving the world. Then, going out for ice cream. A God's gotta treat themselves, right?

So, yeah. I want to become a Super Saiyan God. And I'm not afraid to admit it. It's a goal. A dream. A perfectly reasonable ambition.

Don’t judge me. You secretly want to be one too.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a Saiyan dating app to download.

Bonus: Side Effects May Include

Potential side effects include increased appetite, an uncontrollable urge to shout during workouts, and a sudden fondness for the color red.

Also, you might start seeing things in slow motion. This is normal.

And, of course, the occasional interdimensional battle. Pack a lunch.

Wish me luck!