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I Was Banished From The Heros Party

By Emma Burns • In Show
I Was Banished From The Heros Party

So, picture this: You're at a birthday party, the one you've been planning for weeks. Everyone's having a blast, right? Balloons, cake, maybe even a bouncy castle. Then, suddenly, you're politely, but firmly, asked to leave. That's basically what happened to me with the Heroes Party.

It All Started So Promisingly

We were going to save the world! It was a classic setup: The Chosen One, the Wise Wizard (that wasn't me, sadly), the Stoic Warrior, and…well, me! I brought the snacks, mostly. And excellent moral support, obviously.

Think of it like being in a band. You know, the guitarist shreds, the drummer keeps the beat, and then there's that guy with the triangle who shows up sometimes. Guess which one I was?

We faced down dragons, outsmarted goblins, and navigated treacherous dungeons. I even managed to disarm a trap once, using only a rubber chicken and sheer dumb luck. It was a highlight, I'll admit!

The Turning Point

Things started to unravel when we reached the Volcano of Eternal Gloom. It was supposed to be the final showdown with Malgor the Malevolent, a seriously grumpy dude with a penchant for dramatic entrances.

Everyone was focused, strategizing, meticulously sharpening their swords. I, on the other hand, was trying to figure out if the lava was hot enough to roast marshmallows. Priorities, people!

Maybe I suggested a potluck during the final battle planning session. And perhaps I accidentally set the map on fire while demonstrating my "optimal s'more toasting technique." Small details, really.

The Banishment

Okay, maybe the potluck idea was a little tone-deaf. And setting the map ablaze...well, let's just say The Chosen One wasn't thrilled.

The conversation was...uncomfortable. There were a lot of meaningful glances, whispered discussions, and dramatic sighs. It felt like a scene from a reality show, except I was getting voted off the island (or, in this case, banished from the party).

Essentially, they told me my…enthusiasm, let's call it, was "not conducive to the serious business of saving the world." Ouch.

Life After the Party

So, here I am, hero-party-less. Am I bitter? Nah! Maybe a little bummed that I missed the big finale. But mostly, I'm just relieved I don't have to deal with Malgor's bad breath.

I've been focusing on my own adventures now. Less world-saving, more…world-improving. I'm teaching squirrels how to knit tiny sweaters. It’s surprisingly fulfilling.

Besides, who needs a hero party when you can have a squirrel fashion show? I'm pretty sure that's way more important anyway.

My New Calling

The moral of the story? Embrace your quirks! If you're not meant to be the Chosen One, that's okay. Maybe you're meant to be the Chief Snack Officer, or the Minister of Squirrelly Couture.

And hey, if the world still needs saving, I'll be here, armed with my rubber chicken and a bag of marshmallows. Just don't let me near the map.

I mean, what's a little marshmallow-induced chaos when the fate of the world is at stake? Exactly. Nothing. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a tiny turtleneck to finish.

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