Okay, let's talk about The Fellowship of the Ring. You know, the first movie? The one that kicked off the whole Middle-earth obsession?
Don't get me wrong, I love it! Hobbits, elves, dwarves, oh my! But... here's my truth. It's kinda long.
Is It Just Me?
I know, I know. Saying The Fellowship of the Ring is too long is like saying puppies are only moderately cute. Blasphemy!
But hear me out! We're talking about a three-hour movie. That's a serious commitment.
Think about it. Three hours is a whole afternoon! Or a significant chunk of your evening. You could bake a cake in that time. You could learn a new language (okay, maybe not, but you get the idea).
The Extended Editions: A Bridge Too Far?
And then there are the extended editions! Don't even get me started. We're creeping towards four hours then.
Look, I appreciate the extra lore. I do! More Tom Bombadil? Yes, please! But sometimes, I just want to get to Mordor, you know?
Is every extra scene *essential*? Or are some just there to pad out the runtime? Food for thought, my friends.
A Slow Journey to Rivendell
The beginning especially feels… leisurely. We spend a lot of time in The Shire.
Lots of walking, lots of talking, lots of second breakfast. Which, I admit, sounds amazing. But still!
Then there's the whole escaping-the-Ringwraiths thing. Tense, yes. But stretched out? Arguably.
Let's Be Honest: Bathroom Breaks
Three hours is a long time to sit still! Especially if you've had a large drink. The struggle is real.
Trying to time a bathroom break during a quiet scene? Risky business. You might miss a crucial piece of exposition!
And let's face it, pausing is disruptive. Everyone glares at you. You feel the pressure.
In Defense of Editing
I'm not saying the movie is *bad*. Far from it! It's a masterpiece.
But even masterpieces can benefit from a little trimming. A tighter edit can make a movie even more impactful.
Imagine a version of The Fellowship of the Ring that's, say, two and a half hours. Snappier. More focused. Still epic, but less... marathon-like.
Unpopular Opinion: I'd Watch It
I'm prepared for the backlash. I know the Tolkien faithful will come for me. But I stand by my statement.
A slightly shorter Fellowship of the Ring? I'd watch it. Maybe even twice.
What do you think? Am I alone in this? Or are there others who secretly feel the same way?
Perhaps Peter Jackson can consider a "Director's Cut (Cut Down Edition)" for the 25th Anniversary?
Just kidding (mostly).
But seriously, someone get me a second breakfast. All this thinking has made me hungry.
And maybe a comfy chair. And a remote control. And a willingness to spend three glorious hours in Middle-earth. Long as it may be!
