Okay, let's dive into the messy, beautiful, and sometimes cringe-worthy world of Married At First Sight, Season 13! Remember those Houston love hopefuls? Yeah, the season where matching seemed to be done by a dartboard.
Let's be honest, we all watched expecting train wrecks. Some delivered, others surprised. But the big question remains: Who actually survived?
The Survivors (Sort Of)
Bao & Johnny: A Match Made...Somewhere Else?
Oh, Bao Hoang and Johnny Lam. Their journey was...a journey. It was like watching a very polite, very awkward dance of avoidance.
Spoiler alert: they didn't make it. But here's the tea: Bao ended up dating another Season 13 alum! Talk about keeping it in the MAFS family.
Myrla & Gil: Opposites Attract (and Then Repel)
Okay, I'm going to say it: I actually liked Myrla Feria and Gil Cuero together. I know, unpopular opinion! She was bougie, he was down-to-earth.
They seemed to balance each other, right? Wrong. They said "yes" on decision day, but quickly called it quits after.
Rumor has it Myrla bought herself a designer bag to celebrate her freedom. Can't blame her!
Michaela & Zack: A Hurricane of Emotions
Michaela Clark and Zack Freeman were the definition of a rollercoaster. High highs, low lows, and a whole lot of slamming doors. It's safe to say they were the most dramatic couple of the season.
Did they stay together? Nope. Shocking, I know. Honestly, I think they both needed a long nap and a therapist.
The...Well, You Know
Brett & Ryan: A Fizzled Flame
Remember Brett Gardner and Ryan Ignasiak? Probably not. Their connection was so lukewarm it barely registered on the romance scale.
They were doomed from the start. She said he was on dating apps too soon. It was an early and merciful end.
Rachel & Jose: A Financial Fiasco
Rachel Gordillo and Jose San Miguel Jr. were...interesting. Jose's infamous budget spreadsheet and that accidental "you're not my type" text were *chef's kiss* reality TV gold.
They did give the whole marriage another go after decision day, but it didn’t work out. Apparently, love can't conquer all, especially not a poorly worded text.
The Verdict?
Season 13 of Married At First Sight gave us drama, tears, and questionable matching skills. But did any couples stay the course?
Sadly, no. Zero for five. It was a clean sweep of splitsville. But hey, at least we got some good memes out of it.
Sometimes, arranged marriages just aren't meant to be. Maybe next season will have better luck. Or maybe not, but we'll be watching anyway!
