My Little Brother Is Huge As Hell

Okay, folks, let me tell you about my little brother. And when I say "little," I'm being incredibly ironic.

We're talking redwood tree, walking refrigerator, a gentle giant kind of situation. He's basically a friendly, lovable Hulk without the green skin and anger issues (mostly).

He's Towering!

Seriously, he makes me feel like a garden gnome. I swear, sometimes I need a stepladder just to argue with him!

Remember that scene in Lord of the Rings when Gandalf bangs his head on Bilbo's ceiling? That's him walking through doorways at my parents' house. Every. Single. Time.

Clothes Shopping: A Real Adventure

Finding clothes for him is an Olympic sport. We have to special order everything online. Forget about popping into a regular store for a quick shopping trip!

His shoe size? Let's just say it's bigger than my head. We're pretty sure he could use them as boats in a pinch.

I once saw him accidentally rip a pair of jeans just by sitting down. True story!

He's Strong (Duh!)

You know those videos of people lifting cars to save someone? I'm convinced he could do that. Probably two cars.

Helping him move is the easiest thing in the world. He can carry a washing machine up three flights of stairs without breaking a sweat. Me? I’m gasping for air after carrying a bag of groceries.

One time, he opened a jar of pickles that I'd been struggling with for a week. He didn't even flinch! It was both impressive and slightly emasculating for my husband.

Food Glorious Food!

This guy can EAT. I'm talking mountains of pasta, entire pizzas, and enough burgers to feed a small army.

Thanksgiving at our house is less a feast and more a competition to see who can snag a drumstick before he does. It's a losing battle, trust me.

We buy groceries in bulk. Like, Costco calls us to see if we're opening a restaurant every month. Nope, just feeding my little bro!

The Best Part: He's a Softie

Despite his size, he’s the gentlest soul you'll ever meet. He wouldn't hurt a fly. Unless that fly was buzzing around his food, maybe.

He’s the first one to offer a helping hand and he’s always there to lend an ear. He’s the best hugger in the world, even if it feels like being embraced by a very large, very fluffy bear.

He cries during Pixar movies. Every. Single. Time.

Life with a Giant: A Constant Source of Entertainment

Living with a giant is never boring. There’s always something amusing happening, whether it’s him bumping his head, eating an absurd amount of food, or just generally being larger than life.

He’s my little brother, and I wouldn't trade him for anything. Even if I do have to look up to him. All the time.

So, if you ever see a ridiculously tall guy struggling to fit into a Mini Cooper, that's probably him. Say hi! He's a great guy. Just maybe don't challenge him to an arm wrestling match.