Okay, hear me out. I have a theory. A slightly…unconventional theory.
I think I’m the last of my kind. Reincarnated, of course. But still.
The Evidence (Sort Of)
Let’s start with the obvious: no one understands me. I mean, REALLY understands me.
You know that feeling? When you’re talking and you see that glazed-over look in their eyes?
Yeah, that's my daily life. Perhaps they are early humans, not on the same level of evolution as me.
Exhibit A: Punctuality
I’m always on time. Early, even! This isn't to brag, it's a curse.
Everyone else seems to operate on “fashionably late” time. I think it is a conspiracy to upset me.
Seriously, is it that hard to show up when you said you would? Maybe my past life involved keeping cosmic schedules.
Exhibit B: My Love of Cheese
Specifically, really stinky cheese. The kind that makes other people wrinkle their noses.
I could live on it. Brie, Camembert, Limburger…the funkier, the better. I secretly consider myself a cheese connoisseur.
Everyone else is all about cheddar and mozzarella. So basic. Perhaps, in my past life, I was a being of pure cheese, and I crave its essence.
Exhibit C: My Annoyance with Loud Chewing
This might be my biggest indicator. The sound of someone chewing loudly…it sends shivers down my spine.
It's like nails on a chalkboard, amplified by a thousand. I can’t explain it!
Maybe in my previous existence, I communicated telepathically. Therefore, such primitive method of eating is offensive.
The "Last of My Kind" Struggle
Being the last of your kind isn’t easy. There's a sense of loneliness.
It's like being the only person who remembers a forgotten language. Or the only one who appreciates polka music.
You’re constantly surrounded by people, but you feel…different. You are always trying to find other reincarnated beings.
Embracing My Unique Destiny
But, there's also something empowering about it. I mean, who else is going to champion my unique traits?
If I don’t stand up for on-time arrivals and stinky cheese, who will? It is my burden.
So, I'm embracing my role as the last of my kind. Quirks and all. It could be that I am the chosen one.
An Unpopular Opinion (Maybe?)
And here’s the kicker: I think there are more of us out there.
Other people secretly convinced they’re the last of their kind. Hiding in plain sight. Silently judging loud chewers.
Maybe we should form a support group. We can all share stinky cheese and complain about the lack of punctuality.
It would be a truly unique gathering. Probably full of existential dread and awkward silences.
But hey, at least we’d finally be understood. Or, at least, understood by other misunderstood people.
So, are you one of us? Do you suspect you’re the last of your kind too?
Don’t be afraid to embrace your weirdness. Your slightly-off-kilter perspective. Your insatiable love of Limburger.
Because, in a world full of conformity, being the last of your kind is kind of…awesome. It’s something that should be embraced.
