Let's Go Ape! (The Fun Kind)
Okay, let's talk Planet of the Apes. Not the Charlton Heston kind, though "Get your hands off me, you damn dirty apes!" is still legendary. We're diving into the newer, shinier, more emotionally intelligent ape saga. You know, the one with the super-smart chimpanzees.
We're talking about the Rise, Dawn, and War trilogy. So grab your bananas and prepare for some possibly controversial opinions!
Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011)
This is where it all began. James Franco, a cure for Alzheimer's, and suddenly apes are way smarter than they should be. Cue Caesar, the chimpanzee who's basically ape Moses.
I have to say, this one's pretty solid. It's got the origin story vibe, the underdog narrative, and enough heartfelt moments to tug at your heartstrings. Though, let's be honest, Franco's acting is...well, it's there. But that does not matter.
Unpopular opinion time: I think this movie is secretly about how we, as humans, sometimes bring problems on ourselves. I feel like it is the best film in the trilogy.
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (2014)
Years later, a virus has wiped out most of humanity. Apes rule the forest. Humans scramble for survival. Tension rises faster than ape intelligence.
This one’s darker, grittier. We’ve got a power struggle between the apes. Peaceful Caesar vs. the revenge-hungry Koba. It's basically Ape Game of Thrones.
Here's where my controversial take gets even hotter: Dawn is...fine. It's good, even. But it feels like a bridge. It's setting up the grand finale. But the finale itself, eh...
War for the Planet of the Apes (2017)
Here we go. The epic showdown. Humans vs. Apes. Woody Harrelson channeling some serious Colonel Kurtz vibes. It's war. What else can I say?
Visually, this movie is stunning. The snow-covered landscapes, the ape motion capture. Wow! Andy Serkis (as Caesar) delivers a performance that should have earned him an Oscar. Period.
But...and this is a big but...the story feels a little...predictable? Caesar's journey feels a bit too on-the-nose. It is like they are forcing a certain narrative for some reason.
And this is where I risk the wrath of the ape-loving internet: War is the weakest of the trilogy. I said it!
Ranking the Apes (According to Me, So Take it With a Grain of Salt)
So, here’s my totally subjective, potentially rage-inducing ranking of the Rise trilogy:
- Rise of the Planet of the Apes
- Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
- War for the Planet of the Apes
I know, I know! Blasphemy! But Rise just captured that perfect blend of heart, suspense, and ape-volution awesomeness. Dawn is a solid middle chapter, and War, while beautiful, felt a bit anticlimactic. I can see why people love War. It just was not for me.
"But wait," you cry, "What about the original movies?"
Oh, those are a whole different beast! A classic beast, but still different. This is about the Caesar trilogy. And in that trilogy, *Rise* reigns supreme (in my humble, banana-loving opinion).
Agree? Disagree? Let the ape debates begin!
