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That's Right No I Want To Be Held Elden Ring

By Emma Burns • In Show
That's Right No I Want To Be Held Elden Ring

Okay, confession time. I have a gaming opinion. It might be controversial. Deep breaths, everyone.

I don't actually want to conquer Elden Ring. There, I said it!

A Radical Thought: Cozy Souls

Everyone's talking about builds. Optimal damage output, you know the drill. They brag about speedruns and flawless victories.

Meanwhile, I'm dreaming of something different. Imagine Elden Ring, but softer. Think less screaming, more snuggling.

Yeah, I know. Blasphemy!

The Allure of the Hug

My ideal Elden Ring experience? It involves getting held. Seriously.

Think of all those terrifying bosses. Wouldn't it be great if, instead of fighting, you could just...hug them? A big, cathartic, pixelated hug.

Maybe Malenia just needs a good cry. A supportive arm around her shoulder. Someone to tell her it's okay to rot (a little).

Rennala, Queen of the Full Moon…Of Naps

And Rennala? Forget the magic. Give her a weighted blanket and a cup of chamomile tea.

She's clearly stressed! All those rebirthing attempts, the screaming kids. Motherhood is tough, even in the Lands Between.

A nap is exactly what she needs. Let’s skip the battle and go straight to bedtime stories.

Trading Swords for Snuggles

I understand the challenge is the point for some. The thrill of victory, the overcoming of seemingly impossible odds.

But is that *really* the only way to play? Can’t we have an option for emotional support?

I envision a mod. Call it "Elden Embrace."

Behold, Dog! (And Pet It)

And let's not forget the animals! All those "dogs" (we all know what they *really* are). They deserve endless head scratches.

Imagine the happiness! A land filled with cuddled creatures. The ultimate power fantasy.

No more fear, only friendly wags and happy barks.

The Final Boss: Existential Comfort

Maybe the final boss isn't a god or a monster. Maybe it's just...loneliness.

And the weapon to defeat it? A warm embrace. A genuine connection.

Forget the Elden Ring. I'm after the Elden Hug.

Unpopular Opinion? Maybe. But…

So, there you have it. My possibly insane gaming desire.

Elden Ring, but with more emotional vulnerability. More opportunities for connection. More darn hugs!

Anyone else feel this way? Or am I destined to wander the Lands Between alone, offering unsolicited cuddles to confused bosses?

Think about it. A kinder, gentler, and huggier Elden Ring. The future of gaming?

I can dream, can’t I?

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