The Girl I Saved On The Train

Okay, so picture this: me, slightly rumpled after a long day, crammed onto the 6:15 express train. Everyone's got that glazed-over "please don't talk to me" look.

Suddenly, I hear this frantic, muffled sound. Like a tiny, distressed hamster trying to sing opera.

Turns out, it's coming from this girl across the aisle. Let's call her Brenda, because, well, that's her name. I saw it on her ridiculously oversized tote bag.

The Crisis Unfolds

Brenda's face is turning a shade of purple usually reserved for expensive eggplants. She’s clawing at her throat, making these weird, silent choking gestures.

My brain, usually occupied with what to have for dinner (pizza, always pizza), kicks into superhero mode. Time to unleash my inner Heimlich Maneuver champion!

Except... I've never actually done the Heimlich Maneuver. I mostly just saw it on TV. Close enough, right?

Operation Rescue Brenda

Without a second thought, I leap up (almost knocking over a guy engrossed in a mobile game involving candy) and yell, "ARE YOU CHOKING?!"

Brenda, eyes wide with panic, manages a feeble nod. Okay, confirmed. Stage one complete.

Now for the slightly awkward part. I try to remember exactly what they do on those medical dramas. Is it a hug? A vigorous pat on the back? A secret handshake?

I opt for something resembling the Heimlich, placing my hands around her (thankfully small) waist and giving a firm, probably anatomically incorrect, thrust.

Nothing. I try again. Still nothing. I'm starting to sweat. Candy Crush guy is staring.

Then, like a miracle worthy of a cheesy movie montage, a rogue grape shoots out of Brenda's mouth and lands... well, let's just say it landed somewhere unexpected.

The Aftermath (and the Applause)

Brenda gasps for air, looking like she's just run a marathon backwards. "Thank you!" she wheezes, "I thought I was a goner!"

The entire train car erupts in applause. Candy Crush guy actually pauses his game to give me a thumbs up. I feel like I should be wearing a cape.

Suddenly, I'm the hero of the 6:15 express. People are offering me their seats, sharing their snacks. It's like winning the lottery, but with less money and more grape-related drama.

Brenda, now breathing normally and significantly less purple, explains she was mindlessly shoveling grapes into her mouth before realizing the importance of chewing.

A valuable lesson learned, people. Chew your food. And maybe avoid grapes the size of golf balls.

We chat for the rest of the ride. Brenda's actually really cool. She's studying to be a marine biologist, which is way more impressive than my pizza-obsessed lifestyle.

Turns out, saving someone's life is a pretty good conversation starter. Who knew?

The Moral of the Story (Probably)

So, what's the takeaway from my brush with accidental heroism? Well, for one, I should probably take a CPR course.

But more importantly, it reminded me that even the most mundane commutes can have unexpected moments of connection.

And that sometimes, all it takes is a slightly awkward Heimlich and a rogue grape to make someone's day – and maybe even save their life. Also, Brenda owes me a pizza.

I will never forget the day when the girl I saved on the train became my friend.

And I'm officially accepting applications for sidekick. Must be proficient in grape identification and possess a strong gag reflex.