Okay, people, let's talk about something truly important: the culinary adventures, or should I say, misadventures, of the Real Housewives of Orange County. Forget the drama for a sec, because the food choices? Next level.
We're not talking Michelin star stuff here. We're talking about the kind of eating that makes you question everything you thought you knew about taste. It's a wild ride, buckle up!
The Infamous Tamra Judge Protein Shake
Oh, Tamra, our resident fitness guru. We love her, but her protein shakes have become legendary. Not for being delicious, mind you, but for their, shall we say, unique ingredient combinations.
I'm pretty sure I saw her throw kale, peanut butter, and raw ginger in one once. That's dedication, or possibly a cry for help from her tastebuds. I'd rather drink a smoothie made out of grass.
Vicki Gunvalson's "Whoop It Up" Diet
Vicki, bless her heart, loves a good catchphrase. "Whoop it up!" and she also loves to pair it with… well, whatever is closest. Burgers, pizza, alcohol, and so on.
I think she invented the "see food" diet. You know, you see food, and you eat it. No judgement! But healthy?
The Endless Supply of Restaurant Food
Let's be honest, these ladies practically live in restaurants. Every scene seems to involve a beautifully plated, probably overpriced dish. And let's be honest with ourselves here. I'm jealous!
You know what? Sometimes the greatest derangement is not what you eat but how much you eat out! That's an edible derangement, right? I like it.
Shannon Beador's Emotional Eating
Our dear Shannon. She had some difficult times, and like many of us, she turned to food for comfort. Pizza, chips, you name it. I do that.
We've all been there, right? The emotional eating is relatable. The fancy appetizer plates when you cry are not.
The Unidentifiable Party Platters
Whenever these ladies throw a party, there's always a platter of something vaguely Mediterranean-ish. Olives, artichoke hearts, maybe some sun-dried tomatoes.
Honestly, I'm not sure anyone actually eats it. It's more for decoration, and to give the illusion of sophistication. They are pretty though!
The Tequila Shots
Okay, tequila might not be food, but it's definitely a culinary constant in the OC. Tequila shots solve everything! Right?
From arguments to breakups, tequila is always there, ready to numb the pain or fuel the fire. It's a food group, in my book.
The Fancy Cakes
Birthday? Divorce? New business venture? Let's get a ridiculously elaborate cake! These cakes are works of art. But often, they seem to go uneaten. A pure waste of sugar.
It is a testament to the fact that even in Orange County, sometimes the best things are wasted. I hate it when that happens, though. I like cake!
The Conclusion
So, there you have it, a glimpse into the edible derangements of the Real Housewives of Orange County. It's a rollercoaster of flavors, textures, and questionable decisions.
But hey, at least it's entertaining! And maybe, just maybe, it makes us feel a little better about our own food choices. After all, at least we're not putting kale in our protein shakes...probably.
Bon appétit? Or maybe just...watch out for those olives?
