The Great Kung Fu Tea Closing Time Conspiracy (Maybe)
Okay, let's talk about something important. Really important. It's about Kung Fu Tea. Specifically, what time does it CLOSE?
I know, I know. You're thinking, "Just Google it!" But trust me, it's not that simple. It's never that simple with boba.
The Google Lie
Google promises answers. It whispers sweet nothings about "10 PM" or "11 PM." Don't believe it. It's a trap!
I swear, every Kung Fu Tea has its own secret, unwritten closing time. It's like a choose-your-own-adventure, but the adventure ends with disappointment and no boba.
Sometimes, I suspect they close whenever they feel like it. Maybe based on the alignment of the planets. Or the collective mood of the tapioca pearls.
My Unpopular Opinion: They Should Be Open 24/7
Hear me out! Is this so unreasonable? What's wrong with a little late-night boba?
Colleges are fueled by caffeine and sugar. Kung Fu Tea provides both. It's practically a public service.
Think of the possibilities! Late-night study sessions, post-party recovery, impromptu existential crises… all enhanced by a delicious cup of taro milk tea.
"A boba a day keeps the existential dread away." - Probably Someone Wise
The App: A False Sense of Security
The Kung Fu Tea app seems helpful, right? Shows hours, lets you order ahead. A beacon of hope in a chaotic world.
Until you show up at 9:45 PM, app in hand, only to be met with a locked door and a darkened storefront. The app LIED.
I'm not saying the app is evil. But it's definitely playing games with my emotions. And my thirst.
The Staff: Guardians of the Boba Gate
The employees. They know the *real* closing time. They hold the key to boba bliss (or boba denial).
Sometimes they're super friendly, sometimes they look like they've seen things. Things involving mountains of dirty boba cups. I understand. I empathize.
But a simple "Hey, we're closing in 15" would be appreciated. Just a heads-up. A little boba courtesy.
The Existential Question: Is It Worth It?
Despite the inconsistencies, the potential heartbreak, the sheer frustration...is it all worth it?
Yes. Unequivocally, yes. Because when that perfect cup of Kung Fu Tea hits your lips, all is forgiven.
The struggle is real, folks. But so is the boba. So keep fighting the good fight. Keep checking the hours. Keep hoping.
My Proposal: A Boba Closing Time Task Force
I propose we form a task force. A dedicated team of boba enthusiasts. Our mission: to uncover the *true* closing times of every Kung Fu Tea on Earth.
We'll use Google. We'll use the app. We'll even...gasp...*ask* the employees.
Together, we can bring clarity to the boba-loving world. And maybe, just maybe, convince them to stay open 24/7. A girl can dream!
