Okay, so you think you saw a skinwalker. First of all, awesome! That’s way cooler than seeing a squirrel wearing a tiny hat (though, admittedly, that would be pretty darn cute). Let’s get down to brass tacks.
Step 1: Don't Panic (Much)
Easier said than done, I know. But seriously, losing your cool won't help you outrun anything, especially not something potentially supernatural. Take a deep breath, or ten.
Think of it like running into your ex at the grocery store, but, you know, with potentially more shape-shifting involved.
Step 2: Verify (If Possible, Safely!)
Was it REALLY a skinwalker? Maybe it was just a particularly mangy coyote having a bad hair day. Are you sure it's not just your weird cousin Gary dressed up for Comic-Con again?
I mean, Gary does have a thing for animal masks and questionable life choices. But seriously, is the creature exhibiting unusually strange behavior? Like, speaking backwards in your neighbor's voice?
Step 3: Channel Your Inner Grandma (or Grandpa)
Grandmas are notoriously powerful. They can guilt-trip you from across state lines and bake a pie that wards off negativity for miles! Think about what they would do!
In this case, you're going to employ a slightly less delicious but equally effective strategy:Protection!
A Pinch of Salt
Grab some salt, any kind will do. Throw it over your left shoulder. This is a classic protection method. It's like a supernatural bouncer.
Shiny Things Are Your Friend
Carry something made of silver. A spoon, a ring, your grandma's prized thimble – anything will do. Skinwalkers are supposedly not big fans of the shiny stuff. It's like kryptonite for shapeshifting creatures, but with less Superman involved.
Make a Loud Noise
Yell, sing (badly!), bang pots and pans together! Loud noises are surprisingly effective at deterring unwanted attention. It's like the creature is thinking "Ugh, too much drama, I'm outta here!"
Step 4: Stay Calm and Collected
Avoid direct eye contact. Think of it like that awkward moment on the bus when you accidentally lock eyes with a stranger eating a banana. Just look away! Pretend you're admiring the scenery (even if the scenery is just a dumpster).
Don't show fear. Skinwalkers, like bullies, feed on fear. Stand tall, even if your knees are knocking harder than a woodpecker at a drum solo.
Step 5: The Aftermath
If you've successfully navigated your skinwalker encounter, congratulations! You've earned bragging rights for life! Time for a celebratory snack, preferably something involving chocolate.
But if things get hairy, or furry, or scaley... it's time to move. Preferably to a place with less supernatural activity and more reliably strong wifi.
And remember, maybe, just maybe, it was Gary in that animal mask after all.
Disclaimer: This advice is for entertainment purposes only. If you genuinely believe you are being threatened by a dangerous person or animal, please contact your local authorities. We are not responsible for any encounters with shape-shifting entities that may or may not result from following this advice.
