When Is The Next Season Of Alone 2022

Okay, let's be real. We’re all thinking the same thing: Where's the next season of Alone? It's like waiting for Christmas... but instead of presents, we get people eating slugs. Same excitement level, though. (Maybe that's just me.)

The Great Alone Drought of... Whenever It Is

Honestly, trying to pinpoint the next season is harder than building a sustainable shelter with only a rusty spoon. The internet offers breadcrumbs. We clutch at these clues like they're life rafts made of fire-starting tinder.

Rumors swirl. Whispers in forums. Conspiracy theories involving squirrels hoarding filming schedules. It's a wild ride!

So, When Will Our Suffering (of Waiting) End?

This is the million-dollar question, isn't it? Sadly, I don't have a definitive answer. (Sorry to disappoint! I'm as bummed as you are.)

We have to rely on detective work! Checking History Channel's official website is crucial. Also, scour social media for any hints or casting calls.

Keep an eye on Alone fan groups. Those folks are dedicated. They're practically survival experts at finding release dates!

My Unpopular Alone Opinion (Prepare Yourself)

Okay, here it is. Deep breaths. I think the early seasons were the best. Fight me!

Don't get me wrong. I love seeing people push themselves to the limit. The raw grit of the first few seasons just hit different. It was like a perfect blend of desperation and ingenuity.

Maybe it's the nostalgia talking. Maybe it's the simpler times. Or maybe it's just because I really miss seeing people struggle to start a fire with two sticks for, like, five straight days.

Things I'm Secretly Hoping To See In The Next Season

More failed fishing attempts! Seriously, nothing is funnier than someone spending hours crafting a perfect spear and then scaring away every fish in the lake. Classic.

Creative uses for birch bark. Give me art! Give me waterproof baskets! Give me a tiny birch bark replica of the Eiffel Tower. I need to be entertained.

Someone accidentally eating something poisonous. Look, I'm not advocating for harm! But a mild case of the wilderness tummy rumbles makes for great TV. It builds character, you know?

While We Wait... Alone Binge-Watching Strategies

Re-watch your favorite season! Obvious, but necessary. It's like comfort food for the soul (if your soul eats raw squirrels and foraged mushrooms).

Introduce your friends to the show. Misery loves company! Plus, you'll have someone to debate with about the best survival strategies.

Start practicing your own survival skills in your backyard. Just kidding! (Mostly.) Maybe just try building a fire pit. Baby steps.

“I will survive!” – Every Alone contestant, probably.

In the meantime, let's all collectively send positive vibes to the History Channel. Maybe if we ask nicely (and offer them a plate of perfectly cooked foraged roots), they'll bless us with a new season soon.

Let the countdown begin! (Again.)

Hang in there, Alone fans. Our time will come. We will once again witness the beautiful, brutal dance of human will against the relentless power of nature. And we'll probably judge every single decision those poor people make from the comfort of our couches. Because that's what we do best.