Okay, let's talk about something important: When is What We Do in the Shadows coming back? My sanity depends on it. And maybe yours too.
The Eternal Wait: A Vampire's Perspective (Almost)
Seriously, it feels like an eternity. We're talking longer than Nandor’s search for his 53 wives, maybe. Perhaps even longer than Guillermo’s patience.
I keep refreshing the internet. Checking for any scrap of news. Any tiny bat-shaped crumb of information.
Have We Offended the Vampiric Council?
Is this some kind of punishment? Did we not laugh hard enough at Colin Robinson’s energy vampire antics? Did we not sufficiently appreciate Nadja's dark pronouncements?
I personally think we did. But maybe FX has different standards. Maybe they require offerings of garlic-free snacks and virgin blood.
Actually, hold on. That last part might be a problem.
Theories and Conspiracy: My Unpopular Opinions
Here's where things get interesting. I have theories. Unpopular theories, perhaps. But theories nonetheless.
My first theory? They're filming in secret. A complete surprise season drop. Think Beyoncé, but with more capes and less singing.
Unpopular opinion alert: I secretly hope they replace Guillermo. Don’t get me wrong, I love him. But the show is too good. A different familiar could be interesting, right?
The Laszlo Cravensworth Delay Hypothesis
Another theory? Laszlo is holding things up. I bet he's off on some bizarre adventure. Probably involving topiary and a ghost wife.
He probably destroyed the set trying to recreate a particularly elaborate garden scene. That sounds about right.
Or maybe, just maybe, Mark Proksch (Colin Robinson) is the one causing the delay. He probably found a new way to drain energy. Like by making everyone wait for the new season.
Meanwhile, In the Real World... (Probably)
Okay, realistically, it probably just takes time. Writing, filming, editing, all that jazz. It's a complicated process, even for vampires.
But still. A little heads-up would be nice, FX. Just a little bat signal. Or a cryptic Instagram post from Kayvan Novak (Nandor).
Until then, I’ll be here. Re-watching old episodes. Analyzing every frame. And dreaming of the day What We Do in the Shadows graces our screens once more.
In Conclusion (Before I Turn Into Dust From Waiting)
So, when is it coming back? Your guess is as good as mine. But I'm choosing to remain optimistic.
Because if vampires can live for centuries, I can survive a few more months. Probably. Maybe.
Just please, Taika Waititi, don't let us down! We need our fix of vampire silliness. Our dose of dark comedy. And our weekly reminder that being immortal doesn't necessarily mean being competent.
