Okay, let's talk movies. Specifically, movies you only need to watch...once. We've all been there, right?
The Blockbuster Trap
Think about those massive summer blockbusters. Explosions, CGI, maybe The Rock is in it. Fun for a couple of hours!
But are you really going to watch Fast & Furious 27: Electric Boogaloo again? Probably not.
They're designed for maximum impact, minimum replay value. Guilty pleasures? Sure. Repeated viewings? Nope.
Where to find your "One Night Stand" Movie:
Streaming services are overflowing with these cinematic singles. Netflix, Prime, even that weird free one with ads playing "Space Mutiny".
Browse categories like "Action," "Sci-Fi," or "Rom-Com." Look for something that promises thrills but doesn't scream "classic."
Bonus points if it has a ridiculously high Rotten Tomatoes audience score but a shockingly low critics score.
The "Prestige" Picture Paradox
Now, let's consider those super serious, Oscar-bait movies. You know, the ones your intellectual friend raved about for weeks.
They're important. They're meaningful. They require intense concentration to fully appreciate. But... they're also a slog.
I'm looking at you, The Tree of Life! Beautiful? Absolutely. Engaging for a second viewing? Debatable.
Prestige Hunting Grounds
This genre thrives on platforms like Criterion Channel or specialty streaming services.
Prepare for subtitles, black and white cinematography, and lingering shots of people staring pensively into the distance.
You watch it once to say you saw it. You discuss it with your friend. You never watch it again.
The Rom-Com Rollercoaster
Rom-coms: the cinematic equivalent of comfort food. Predictable plots, charming leads, guaranteed happy endings.
Crazy Rich Asians might be the exception, and definitely gets repeat plays in my house. But I saw Marry Me with Jennifer Lopez once, and that was enough.
They fulfill their purpose. They make you feel good. Then you move on to the next dopamine hit.
Seeking Sweet, Fleeting Romance
Hallmark Channel, Lifetime, and the rom-com sections of major streaming services are your best bet.
Look for titles with vaguely suggestive titles like "Accidentally in Love with a Billionaire Baker."
Enjoy the fleeting romance, the witty banter, the inevitable airport chase. And then, goodbye forever!
The Horror House of Cards
Horror movies aim to scare you witless. They succeed, you jump, you spill your popcorn.
But once you know the jump scares, the tension evaporates. The monster under the bed loses its power.
The Babadook is amazing. Truly terrifying. But rewatching it after knowing the secrets? Not quite the same.
Fear's Fairground:
Shudder, AMC+, and even the horror sections on standard streamers offer a plethora of options.
Choose a film with a reputation for jump scares, gore, or psychological thrills.
Embrace the terror, the adrenaline rush, and the knowledge that you probably won't sleep well that night. One and done!
Unpopular Opinion Time
Maybe it's just me. Maybe I have commitment issues with movies. Maybe I'm just easily distracted by shiny new cinematic objects.
But there's something liberating about knowing a movie is a "one-night stand." No pressure, no expectations, just pure, fleeting entertainment.
So, go forth and find your next cinematic fling! Enjoy the moment, and don't feel guilty about never looking back.
Happy Watching! Or, you know, Happy One-Time Watching!
