Daily Life Of An Immortal King Dubbed

Another Manic Monday for King Regnald the Everlasting!

So, you think being an immortal king, dubbed Regnald the Everlasting, is all feasting and ruling? Think again! My alarm clock (a very loud, very antique rooster, naturally) goes off at the ungodly hour of… well, whenever the sun feels like bothering to rise. Centuries haven’t made me a morning person, you know.

First, I need breakfast. No, not ambrosia or unicorn steaks (though I might occasionally consider the latter). It's usually toast. Plain, boring toast. Trying to find a baker who can consistently make a decent sourdough after 500 years is a challenge. Seriously, the turnover is brutal.

Royal Hygiene and Historical Hairsplitting

Then comes the grooming. My beard? A saga in itself. I swear, it grows a foot overnight. I've tried everything from enchanted razors to dragon fire to keep it in check. My royal barber, bless his heart, deserves a medal... and a hefty retirement fund.

Following that, it's time to face the day. And by "face the day," I mean wade through mountains of paperwork. Apparently, even immortal kings can’t escape the tyranny of bureaucracy. Property tax returns, declarations on international trade of enchanted carpets, cease and desist letters regarding rogue necromancers raising undead armies… the usual.

Midday Mayhem

Lunch? Usually something quick. A sandwich. Maybe some leftover dragon stew from the banquet last week. You think I have time for a five-course meal every day? I have to maintain the royal finances. It's a never-ending balancing act.

Afternoons are usually filled with royal duties. These duties can be, well, anything. Mediating disputes between grumpy goblins and territorial gnomes. Attending opening ceremonies for newly-built (or rebuilt… again…) bridges. Listening to endless complaints about the lack of decent Wi-Fi in the royal dungeons. You can't please everyone, even when you’ve had five centuries to try.

The Importance of Royal Downtime (And Cat Videos)

It's not always about duty! A good king knows how to relax. So what does an immortal ruler do to unwind? Binge-watch historical documentaries, obviously. It is fun to point out all the historical inaccuracies. I also love watching cat videos online, they never get old. And don’t even get me started on my stamp collection. It's HUGE!

And sometimes, if I’m feeling particularly daring, I’ll go incognito to the local tavern and listen to the bards sing songs about… me. It's quite interesting what the common folk think of King Regnald. Usually, they're way off, but sometimes there's a kernel of truth in their stories. They need to learn to differentiate truth from legends. That is why I established a "Ministry of Public Image" in the first place.

Evenings, Enchantments, and Existential Dread

Evenings are for council meetings. I have to listen to my advisors blather on for hours about the economy, foreign policy, and the surprisingly high cost of dragon feed. Seriously, those creatures are expensive!

Then there’s the nightly ritual. Recharging my immortality amulet. It's a bit like plugging in your phone, only instead of electricity, I'm drawing power from… well, let's just say it involves a lot of chanting and some ethically sourced unicorn tears.

Finally, before bed, I have to confront the existential dread. Being immortal isn't always sunshine and roses. You watch everyone you care about die. You see civilizations rise and fall. You start to wonder if it all even matters. But then I remember the cat videos, and the stamp collection, and the sheer joy of correcting historical inaccuracies, and I think, “Yeah, maybe it's worth it.”

So that's a glimpse into the glamorous life of Regnald the Everlasting. It's not always easy, but it's never boring. And hey, at least I don't have to worry about retirement!